


CRWDBY

by rS78thUniverse



Category: RWBY, Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crossover, Gen, It's my first fic I'm trying my best, Sporadic upload schedule sorry lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-30 15:33:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11466474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rS78thUniverse/pseuds/rS78thUniverse
Summary: (Pronounced Crude-bee, not that it matters much) A mysterious event leaves Yang Xiao Long in the possession of the AI program, Alpha. A loud-mouthed, sarcastic AI who has a history of going on crazy adventures with even crazier plot twists. What will happen with this odd partnership, will plans be foiled? Will puns be made? Will the writer learn how to create a plot that makes sense? Who knows.





	1. The First Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> Before you start I'd like to say that I thought about this one night before I fell asleep and just started to write what I thought of. If it's bad tell me and i can fix it. Uh, yeah, start reading!
> 
> Edited 1/10/18 because I’m revising and making things ‘flow’ better

From what Yang could see, this was not a good situation to be in. At one end of the room was a group of colorful soldiers holding a variety of weapons. At the other side, was a partially blocked off door being cut open by some tool that wasn't seen. This looked like the setting for one of those photos with a cheesy inspirational quotes like, “Sometimes all you have is faith to go on.” But something was off. No one was moving, suddenly a small blue soldier of a similar style of armor appeared and began to run calculations on how to get his team out of this.

The stress of trying to find a way to escape was too taxing on the little guy, and he started to glitch out. He knew what would happen next and knew he wouldn't be able to be there for his friends, so he did the next best thing. He recorded a message.

“Start a recording for me D.” The blue man said. Another tiny green soldier said “Recording.” And disappeared, leaving the blue guy to his message.

“Hey guys... if you're hearing this then it means you did it. You won. You kicked the shit out of Hargrove's forces. I knew you could... But this is my last stop. See, when I came into this world, I was really just a collection of somebody else's memories.”

As he speaks, the Yang looks around at all of the soldiers there, it seemed to Yang that there were two sub-teams a Red group, and a Blue group.

“But with your help, these memories... they-they took form! They became my voice, my personality. And, after a while, I... I began to make brand new memories of my own. All of these things are what make me who I am... but they're also holding me back.”

The soldier turns and looks toward the person in the center of the group.

“I can't run this suit as Epsilon, but if I erase my memories, if I... deconstruct myself, the fragments I'll leave behind will have the strength to get you through this. I believe that.”

Suddenly, Yang was in another place, some kind of airship with another group of soldiers. All while this soldier, who has a super weird name “Epsilon” continues to speak from no where and everywhere.

“I wish that there was another way. But I’m leaving this message, as well as others, in the hopes that you'll understand why I have to go this time... *small chuckle*It was actually... Doyle, who made me realize something that I've never thought of before. There are so many stories where some brave hero decides to give their life to save the day, and because of their sacrifice, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer, and everybody lives happily ever after.”

Yang is suddenly returned to the original room, with the colorful soldiers. Epsilon looking sadder than when he first appeared.

“But the hero... never gets to see that ending. They'll never know if their sacrifice actually made a difference."

Epsilon begins to change color and look like several different people.

“They'll never know if the day was really saved. In the end, they just have to have faith.”

The sound of glass shattering is heard and Yang's vision goes black. Yang assumes that that is Epsilon ‘dying’ or ‘fragmenting’ or whatever he wanted to call it.

"Ain't that a bitch?"

* * *

 

Yang jolted up from a nightmare in the middle of the night, to her surprise there was a small man in full armor floating in front of her, "Calm down it was just a nightmare," The cobalt ghost said.

"Who are you?" The blonde asked in fear.

"I could ask you the same question." The soldier retorted, confused about how he got here, talking to this girl.

"Yang… go back to bed..." The red leader said dreamily, too sleepy to notice Yang's new friend.

The blue apparition quickly disappeared as to not be discovered. 'I must be dreaming,' Yang thought as she laid her head back down to go back to sleep.

"You aren't, trust me." the blue ghost said just before Yang drifted into unconsciousness.

* * *

 

Yang was woken up the next morning by Weiss yelling, "Yang if you don't wake up I'll shave your head!"

The blonde teen quickly woke up in fear that she'd lose the one of the things she loved the most. "I'm up! Stop yelling!" Shaking her head, escaping from the fictional razor.

"I had the weirdest dream last night," Yang said. "I saw a group of soldiers, and then one… a tiny blue one started to spout a depressing speech about how he couldn't be there with his friends, and had to 'deconstruct himself'. "

Weiss was curious about this. A tiny blue person, having to deconstruct itself? "Was this tiny man an AI by chance?"

Yang, being Yang wasn't much of a tech nerd so she said in a fashion all to familiar, "AI... What's the A stand for?"

Weiss irritated with her teammate's ignorance for artificial intelligence, said quickly "Artifical" Yang was still in the dark, "And what's the I-" she was cut off when Weiss anticipated this follow up question, "Intelligence"

Ruby than caused Yang to question her previous statement, "Are you sure it was a dream, I remember waking up last night to you talking to someone." Yang didn't know what to think.

"We'll talk about this later, I've got to get ready for class!" Unknown to Yang, Church was trying to figure out where he was and how he got implanted into a high school teen, only he didn't know what today had in store for him.

 

Throughout the whole morning Yang tried to contact this mysterious AI, she had forgotten what the A stood for again so she planned to ask Weiss what is meant again soon, finding conveniently loud times in the hallways to say things like, "Hey blue guy, are you there?" And trying to think him into talking to her, nothing worked, so she could only assume that it was a dream, and by lunch had almost forgotten about the mysterious tiny ghost man.

It wasn't until lunch that the soldier spoke up, after researching what he'd landed himself into by covertly transferring himself to Yang's scroll and learning everything he could. What he said made Yang jump a little bit in her seat, in the middle of biting into her sandwich.

_God, Remnant is fucking weird._

The before mentioned jump didn't go unnoticed by her teammates.

"Yang? What's up?" The brawler's sister asked.

"It's nothing, I thought I heard a fly go by my ear." Her team went along with the lie and thought nothing of it, while Yang tried to understand the the person she met last night was real.

'Oh my god, you're real!' Yang thought, very surprised about the sudden appearance of the soldier.

_Of course I'm real! I'm not some figment of your imagination, or your search history. You better clear that shit before someone sees that. Your Faunus friend wouldn't like it if she saw that._

Yang was confused by his last statement. 'Who? Velvet?'

_Is Velvet the girl in front of you, with the bow?_ Church asked not knowing anyone's name, despite having been inside Yang's Scroll.

'Uh no, that's Blake, and I'm pretty sure she's not a Faunus, the bow is just for fashion.'

_I bet if you ask what's under that bow she'll tell you it's cat ears._ The ghost stated, confident that Blake was a Faunus.

'Ok, when I get a chance, I'll ask, to prove you wrong!' Yang thought loudly, also very confident that Blake wasn't a Faunus.

Team RWBY got up from their table to go to they're next class, history. When the team got there and sat down, Professor Oobleck greeted them, "Good afternoon ladies, are you ready for another exciting day of history?"

The professor spoke so fast the the team could only agree and hope it was the right response. At the same time Church was dumbfounded. _That sounded a lot like a guy I used to know, Caboose._ Church thought.

As Church thought about Caboose, bits and pieces of his memories made their way to Yang. Various moments like the blue idiot calling Church's girlfriend a slut, Caboose's several team-kills, ect. Although, some of the earlier stuff was a bit skewed, because all Church knew about the Blood Gulch days was from what he could glean from Caboose's stories, and that never goes over well.

Little did Yang know, her emotions took over and she started to cry in the middle of class. "Yang, what's up? Why are you crying?" Weiss asked, almost like she was concerned about her teammate.

Yang was unaware of this and wiped her cheek to see that she was indeed crying. Trying to think of a quick response, she went to the first thing she could think of. "Oh, I was thinking about how my little sister was able to skip years of training to be able to go to the same school as us!"

This made Ruby blush and Blake to begin to question Yang's behavior today. The Faunus made a note to ask about it when she got a chance.

 

_Smooth_ was all the cobalt AI said after the blonde's quick thinking.

' I'm a charismatic, what can I say?' She thought as the team left the classroom to spend the rest of the day training.

As Yang got Ember Celica from her locker, she quickly thought 'Oh I never introduced myself, I'm Yang Xiao Long. Nice to meet you.'

Church appeared inside of her locker so only she could see him. _I'm Leonard Church, but that's the guy who made an AI after himself, who was given the name Alpha._

Yang was bombarded by more of Church's memories of Project Freelancer and how the Director tortured the Alpha in order to make AIs for his agents. _Oh, uh… Sorry about that. Even I have difficulty remembering that without wanting to breaking something._

During that memory episode Yang didn't know whether to cry again, or to use that to help her train and get it out of her system. _But I'm actually a fragment of that Alpha, cursed with having amazingly good memory. Don't ask, it's complicated._ the AI sarcastically added before Yang left the locker room to meet her team.

After a well needed training session to get her emotions out, Church took note of Yang's weapons, _Sarge would love to get his hands on those wrist shotguns, I don't know how Grif would like them, though._

That made Yang laugh a bit, which the team found odd because no one had said anything. "Yang what's so funny?" The Ice Princess asked.

"I just thought of a joke," the punny blonde said. "What do you get when you combine something cool, with Weiss?"

"What." The team asked in unison, preparing themselves for an abysmal pun.

"The bees Schnees!" The punster yelled, Ruby doubled over in laughter and Blake gave a chuckle to satisfy the blonde, but Weiss on the other hand, was not amused.The heiress put her rapier in her locker, and stormed off to the teams' dorm while the sisters couldn't stop laughing. Church cracked a smile, but no one saw it, because he has a helmet on, and he wasn't projecting himself.

The team had gone to their dorm to clean up before dinner, and it was Yang's turn to use the restroom.

Church took this opportunity to talk to Yang while they had privacy. _So I see you haven't told anyone about me._ The small AI said as Yang closed the door.

"Well I want to know that you're not gonna hurt my team or be some sort of spy." The blond responded while getting ready for her shower, comfortable enough with the AI to trust him to be decent enough not to look.

_Hey just be glad you have me, and not Tucker._ Church said laughing a bit, not looking, confirming Yang's theory of decency... for today. Yang laughed too, at the memories Church gave her of Tucker. "Yeah I'm very glad."

 

When Yang was done cleaning herself up, she exited the shower, ready for dinner, but her team had something else in mind. "Yang, we know something's up with you. Don't lie, and we won't touch the hair!" Ruby declared, trying to be threatening... Trying.

"What are you guys talking about, I've been me this whole time!" Yang began, thinking of a way to explain this weird day.

"We know you're good at puns, but lately, you've been too good. Almost like you've had help." The red leader started, but Yang interrupted before Ruby could continue.

"Is this what's happening? An intervention about my puns? Nothing more serious like, _*imitating Ruby*_ 'huh you've haven't been yourself lately Yang, have you been stressed out lately?' or, 'hey why have you been different lately? Is it because you've been taking too much time thinking about our first mission as a team this year?'"

Ruby was taken aback by this outburst, "Yang it wasn't meant to be taken seriously, gosh way to be a Debby downer." Ruby sighed as RWB left the room to go to dinner, leaving Yang and Church to think on what just happened.

_They have no clue I exist, huh_ Church said after a minute.

"No, I guess they don't." Yang said sadly, because she probably ruined her little sister's joke, thinking they knew about her new friend. "I'm gonna go catch up with them and apologize." The blonde said as she quickly got dressed and ran out the door to meet up with her team.

"Guys I'm sorry I took your little intervention too seriously. I really have been taking this whole mission thing too seriously I guess." Yang apologized to her team as they entered the big mess hall.

"Yang, it's ok, we just didn't expect you to get so serious with it, we just thought your jokes were more… intellectual than in the past." The heiress said flatly.

Yang pulled out a comically large book with the title 'Big Book O' Puns' in large letters on the front and said, "Well I have been studying Punology recently, I was wondering if you guys'd noticed."

_Christ, Yang where do you keep that book?_ Church thought inside of Yang worriedly.

'You'd be surprised how much I can fit in here!' Yang thought, mentally referring to her cleavage.

_Yeah I don't want to know anymore._ Church replied quickly and went into Yang's scroll to do calculations with Delta, just to get out of that conversation.

"We knew you had some sort of help. We thought it was a person, but a book works too." Ruby said, glad that everything was normal. "Lets eat dinner and then we get to pick our very first mission as a team tomorrow!"


	2. The Mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated this earlier, I haven't had a lot of time to dedicate towards writing this. Rip
> 
> Also edited 1/10/18. Revising and changing stuff, you know how it goes

“Hey,” It took Yang a second to realize where she was. Yang was at Red Base, and so was Blake.

“Yeah, Blake?” Yang asked, and instantly recognized what was happening, and knew what Blake would say next.

“Do you ever wonder why we’re here?” Blake asked.

Yang took this opportunity to be a part of an important, and philosophical point in the tale of the Reds and Blues. “It’s one of life’s greatest mysteries isn’t it? Are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a god out there, with some kind of plan for us and stuff?”

 

The scene suddenly whirls across the canyon to see Nora and Ren on a cliff. Ren looking at Blake and Yang through binoculars.

Nora was becoming impatient, “What are they doing, Ren?”

The silent teen took his face away from his binoculars, “What?” Nora restated her question. “I said, What are they doing now?”

Ren became irritated with Nora, “Oh my god Nora! I’m getting so sick of you asking that question!”

Nora came back with the same amount of sass, “Hey, you have those binoculars and I can’t see squat! Don’t complain about me, because I’m not gonna just sit up here and wait for something to happen.”

Ren didn’t want to escalate the argument further so he tried to calm her down, to no effect. “They’re just standing there and talking, Nora. That’s all they ever do, is just stand there and talk. That’s what they were doing last monday. That’s what they were doing when you asked me ten minutes ago. And when you ask, five minutes from now, I’ll still say that they’re still just standing and talking.”

Nora, being as nosy as she is, needed to ask one last question. “What’re they talking about?” This bent Ren a little too far, “You know what? I hate you.”

 

The camera whirls back to Yang and Blake. Still, just standing and talking. Like usual.

“Talk about a waste of resources! We should go out and find new and intelligent forms of Grimm. Fight them.” Yang said in the middle of a conversation.

Blake agreed, “Yeah, that’s why they should put us in charge.” Ruby from somewhere in the base, “Ladies! Get over here on the double!” Blake and Yang were startled by Ruby’s sudden call. “Crap, Yes sir!”

* * *

 

 _Yang, Jesus Christ, wake the fuck up or I'll make you dream that you have no hair!_ That's what Yang woke up to the next morning, and she knew that it was her friendly AI Church, because no one she knows is that vulgar.

"Stop yelling, I'm up!" Yang yelled out loud, startling her teammates.

"Uh, Yang we didn't say anything. Are you hearing things?" Blake asked, growing more suspiscious of Yang.

"Oh, I thought one of you said that if I didn't wake up you'd make me have a bad dream, or something." The blonde replied.

 _That was me, dumbass._ Church thought making Yang frown a bit.

"It looks like you did have a bad dream, Yang." Ruby said, noting Yang's frown.

Yang got out of bed and got ready for the big day ahead of her. Team RWBY gets to choose their very first mission. “Do you know what kind of options we have?” Weiss asked, nervous about how she could complete a mission while dealing with the nonsense that is her team.

“I have no idea, but we get to chose as a team!” Ruby said hopefully.

 _Do these missions involve dealing with whatever these Grimm thing are?_ The AI asked Yang.

'Of course. Missions help rid the world if Grimm. One little bit at a time.' Yang thought.

_Damn it, those things are scary as hell, like Crunchbite. Which reminds me, if we ever see Tucker again, remind me to call his kid disgusting._

Yang was the last to use the restroom to get ready and as she exited, she grabbed the stuff she packed the previous night for the mission. As she did this, Church noticed Blake wasn't wearing her bow today. “No bow today, Blake?” Yang asked.

Blake calmly replied, “Nope,” And that was that.

Team RWBY left for the auditorium for their mission assignment. Church couldn't string enough words to make a sentence and just stuttered. _Blake? Why doesn't… Yang, did you…?_

Yang had a hard time holding her laughter in front of her teammates and thought to Church, 'You just got pranked, dude. Or as I like to call it, Yang-king your chain!'

 _Fuck you then._ Church snapped, and went offline.

When team RWBY reached the Beacon auditorium, the headmaster and assistant headmaster were on the stage, about to begin a speech of some sort. The assistant started by gathering everyone's attention and then turned it over to the headmaster, Professor Ozpin.

_(Imagine that Ozpin’s speech is here because I'm too lazy to plagiarize it)_

The team was more than ready for their mission ahead of them, they just had to pick one. “This is awesome! All we need to do is pick a mission in the southeast, and we're perfect!” The red leader exclaimed as team RWBY searched for missions in the southeast quadrant of Vale.

Yang didn't try to hide her excitement, “Yeah! We'll follow them during the day and give them the slip at night!”

Ruby was the first to notice a mission that fit the team’s needs. “Here it is! Quadrant 5 needs Grimm eliminated!”

Everybody agreed, but when the team tried to sign up, the screen read, “First year students are not allowed to take this mission." T

he team was disappointed, except Church chimed in, _Hold on give me like five seconds._

At Church's request Yang created a small diversion. “Are you sure you spelled it right Ruby?”

The team leader was a little offended by the question, “Of course I did, do you doubt my spelling abilities, my dear sister?”

Church returned to Yang as Ruby was speaking, _Ok I cleared you guys for this mission, you should also beef up your security. That was way too easy._

“Why don't you try again, Ruby. Just to be sure.” Yang asked, curious to see if the little AI actually allowed them to do the mission.

Ruby re-entered their team, but before she submitted it, she turned to show Yang. "Look good enough to you?"

Yang decided to see how far she could take this. "I don't know. Did you use the R for Ruby, or Rose?" The sarcasm seemed to have gone over Ruby's head.

"What? What does that even mean? It's an R either way." Without waiting for Yang to respond, Ruby hit "Enter" on board next the mission.

Much to the team's surprise it worked this time. The young leader was dumbfounded, and so was the rest of the team. All of them tried, and failed, to find an explanation to how the system rejected them, and then seemingly changed its mind.

* * *

 

Professor Ozpin, across the room, had seen the entire scene go down. He wrote some notes into his tablet, and walked away.

* * *

 

As team RWBY made their way across the expansive courtyard toward the port, Church interrupted Yang’s thoughts. _S_ _o why do Ruby and the team need to get a mission strictly in the southeast?_

Yang could never get used to the sensation of Church talking, but she continued her step as if nothing happened. 'What to do you know about the White Fang?'

She thought to Church, who asked, _Aren't they a radical group of Faunus, fighting for equality?_

'Yeah, and Blake used to be a member of them, but don't tell her you know, and we caught wind of a 'staging area' for the White Fang hideout southeast of here, and that's where we are gonna mess up their plans!” Church used his superior AI mind, also known as Delta, to make a quick calculation and proceeded to take credit for it.

 _From what I can see, the only reasonable place for a criminal staging ground southeast of here is a settlement named Mountain Glenn._ This gave Yang a little bit of hope that they picked the right spot.

'Sweet, that's exactly where we're going!' Church was going to respond to his new friend, but was interrupted by Yang’s team.

“YANG!” A gunshot from Crescent Rose quickly followed her owner’s scream.

“Ruby! What did I tell you about blindly firing into the air? You probably just killed an innocent person!” Weiss squealed towards Ruby. “How else were we supposed to get her attention? Tackle her?“ The red head retorted.

Weiss huffed and looked away, clearly offended. “Yang, we've been trying to get your attention for three minutes. What's so important that you have to tune us out?”

Yang was able to think of a reasonable lie, “Uh… I was just thinking about how this is our first mission! I can't wait to kick some White Fang butt!”

Blake could see through the lie, but she needed more time and evidence to prove that something is up with her friend. Blake put this in a mental folder aptly named ‘Proof Something’s Wrong With Yang’ and put it back in her mental filing cabinet.

The team got to their assigned dock and waited for their airship to take them to Mountain Glenn. After a minute or two of waiting, an airship arrived at the teams dock, and out zipped Professor Oobleck. Team RWBY and Church knew they were in for one hell of a mission.


	3. Mountain Glenn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost 3,500 words. Wow.
> 
> Also also edited 1/10/18. More revising and such

“Why hello girls! Who’s ready to fight for their lives?” Team RWBY stood in shock as they saw the huntsman that they would be shadowing for the foreseeable future.

 _You have got to to be fucking kidding,_ Church muttered as Blake was the first to gather her thoughts. “Professor Oobleck?”

The professor was unphased, “Yes, I’m afraid those bags won’t be needed girls seeing as you’ve opted to shadow a huntsman during a reconnaissance mission. I can assure you we won’t be establishing not one base of operations. We will instead traverse several miles of hazardous, Grimm filled territory and making camp in any hospitable areas we find. I’ve packed all we need on this trip myself, plotted the trip, and prepared the airship myself. AND! It’s Dr. Oobleck. I didn’t earn a PhD for fun, thank you very much.” The prof-doctor, said with a hint of annoyance.

Blake started to reply but was quickly cut off by the p-doctor, “Come, now, children! According to my schedule we’re five minutes behind... schedule!”

Ruby was trying to stay positive about the situation, “Well, all right then. Looks like we’re gonna save the, world with... Doctor Oobleck, okay yeah when you say it out loud it doesn’t sound as fun.”

As Ruby finishes, team JNPR strolls up behind them, “Save the world? You’re going on world saving missions without us!? I’m offended! And sad! Maybe a little hungry... That last one isn’t MY fault though. Ren.”

Church, having existed only a day or two, hasn’t been introduced to the wonderful team JNPR. _Who’re these guys?_ he mentally asked towards Yang, and she replied, 'That’s team JNPR. Jaune, Nora, Pyrrha, and Ren. They’re pretty cool if you ask me.' She thought to her friend.

The girl in mostly pink who Church thought was Pyrrha, 'Nope, that’s Nora' Yang interrupted. Nora, turned to Ren as he turned away and turning his nose up, denying the blame placed upon him.

“That sounds exciting! Where’re ya going?” The blond who Church correctly guessed was Jaune asked towards the all female + AI team. “Oh, just outside the Kingdom.” Ruby replied, much to Nora’s delight, “Hey, so are we!”

Nora said as Pyrrha finished Nora’s thought. “Nora and Ren wanted to shadow the sheriff of a nearby village.”

Church recognized Pyrrha’s voice, but couldn’t exactly place it. He stored an audio file to analyze later.

“We set out tomorrow” Ren spoke as Church detected two people approaching the little group. _Heads up, a Faunus and a human are coming up towards us._

Yang was made curious by this, 'Why didn’t you tell me about team JNPR coming to us?'

_Hey, I’m a little rusty on being an AI, cut me some slack. I never really had to do that sort of thing until very recently. I was basically a god before I did anything AI related._

Church begins to reminisce about his laser face. _You should have seen my laser face, it had so much potential._

One of the few memories Church had of his orb form floated through Yang's mind. “Laser face? Dude, imagine if I had Laser Gauntlets. Now those would be a weapon to fear”

_An interesting idea, I’ll see what I can do about that. Oh, and... They're here._

“Then you can party with us tonight!” A blue haired teenager said as he and a blond Faunus walked up towards the group. 'That’s Sun and Neptune. I think you can guess who’s who.' Yang sarcastically thought towards Church.

 _Do you doubt my ability to reason? Blue hair is Neptune and blondy is Sun... Thanks D._ Another voice starts to talk, as though they were extremely smart.

 _It was a simple task. If his name was Neptune, it makes sense that it would be the man with blue hair._ Church got offended by this second voice. _Delta, how the fuck was I supposed to know? People name their kids all kinds of things! My last name is Church, for Christ’s sake!_

That got a small giggle from Yang. which was conveniently unnoticed because everyone’s focus was on Neptune and Sun talking about shadowing a crime specialist. _Oh I’ve forgotten my manners. Yang, meet Delta. Remember that Director guy and the Alpha? I’m one of those fragments. Delta is another. He's the smart one of the bunch. Delta, here, is a memory of the actual Delta, but is still just kinda Delta, because there isn’t much beyond his surface._ Delta was offended, but couldn’t really show it.

 _I will choose to not record that statement._ “So nothing’s really different?” Yang simplified Church’s explanation, _Yeah pretty much._

“Six minutes, ladies!” Everyone stands around awkwardly for a few seconds before Ruby says “Well, wish us luck!”

Team RWBY splits off and enters the airship. Everyone is silent for a few minutes as they try to ready themselves for the mission ahead of them. The ride to Mountain Glenn was fairly short, so no one really had a problem making small talk, except maybe Weiss. Yang was the first to start a conversation with the crew. “I guess I never saw you as much of a fighter, doctor Oobleck.”

Oobleck replied as if he got told that a lot “I will admit, I prefer to be an… intellectual, but as a huntsman I have had my fair share of tussles.”

Being in an airship is loud, so it’s expected that you might lose a syllable or two, and that’s exactly what Ruby did. “Like the mushroom?”

Blake saw the cofusion and tried to help Ruby, “Those are truffles.” Ruby still didn’t understand yet. “Like the sprout?” It was Yang’s turn to help out her sister, “Those are brussels.”

 _And she’s the leader of your team._ Church said with a condescending tone.

'She’s two years younger than us, give her some slack. The same kind I’m giving you.' Yang said with a little snark.

 _You know what? I bet, that I’d make a better leader than Ruby._ Church challenged.

'But you led a pervert, a bimbo, a couple badasses, and Caboose!'

Church’s voice begins to crack as he raises his voice. _And look what we did! We took down Project Freelancer! We killed Felix! Twice! We brought that prison ship down on the Purge Temple! We fulfilled a prophecy by doing nothing! We probably defeated Hargrove and his forces! Blue Team was badass!_ Church squealed.

'Tell you what, if we get the chance, I’ll see if we can get you to lead a sparring match during training, or something similar.' Yang negotiated.

 _Yeah, if the team ever finds out about me._ Church returned with increasing snark.

'Hey dude, when the time is right.' Yang didn’t want this argument to go on any longer.

 _And that time is probably going to be when one of us fucks up and reveals me._ 'Yeah probably.'

 

Meanwhile, Oobleck continues informing RWB of the mission

“Besides my unparalleled knowledge in history, and dabbling in archeological studies, the headmaster saw it fit to assign me to this mission.” Weiss thought this was only an extermination mission.

“What does history have to do with this?” Oobleck was taken aback.

“What a silly question you silly girl! History is the backbone of our society! And the pancreas! And the thyroid if I had a say in the decision.” Nobody understood what this meant. “The southeast quadrant, just outside of Vale, is home to expansive caves, and wild forests. But, it is also home to arguably the Kingdom’s greatest failure.”

Ruby knew where he was going, “Mountain Glenn,”

Yang and Church returned to the group “It was supposed to be an expansion of Vale, right? But in the end it couldn't hold back the Grimm and was sealed off from the rest of the Kingdom?" Yang asked the Doctor.

The doctor was surprised that Yang was so knowledge of Mountain Glenn. “Correct. Good job Yang. And now it stands abandoned, as a dark reminder.” Blake decided to add to the conversation, “And a likely place for a hideout.” The doctor agreed.

The airship descended upon the town square of Mountain Glenn. All the buildings have withered down to the basic frame, and little else. When the airship got close enough to the ground, RWBY + Oobleck jumped out and landed on a street near the center of town.

Everything resembled a ghost town you might see in an old Western film. “Ladies, you might still be students, but your first mission as huntresses has started. From now forward, you must do exactly as I say. Understood?” Oobleck notices Ruby, who still had her backpack. “RUBY! I thought I told you to leave your bags at school!”

Ruby used what rebellious voice she could muster, “Well, you hadn't told us to listen to you yet. So, I didn't.”

_T_ _his is totally a Caboose move._

Oobleck didn’t scold Ruby, he saw the flaw in what happened and replied, “She's not wrong… Very well, Ruby. You can leave your bag here, and we can pick it back up when we are ready to leave.” Ruby didn't want to part with her bag though.

'I swear to the Maidens if she brought Zwei, I don't know what I'm gonna do to her.' _You couldn't tell she had a dog in her bag?  It was super obvious._

Oobleck pressed Ruby, “Young woman. What is so important in that bag that you absolutely cannot leave it here?”

Out from the bag popped out the head of a dog. Ruby turned over her head and whispered to the dog, “Get back in the bag!”

Instead of complying, the dog barked a happy bark. Oobleck did not look pleased. “We’re here, to investigate an abandoned urban jungle overflowing with danger and hostility. And you brought… a dog!?”

Church couldn't wait to see what would happen to the team leader. _Ooh, she's gonna fucking get it…_ Ruby started to say what would have been an apology, but instead, Oobleck began to praise her.

“Brilliant!” The doctor yelled.

 _Man, I’m so fucking unlucky._ Church said, moping. “Just wait until you meet my uncle, he is the king of bad luck. Even his semblance is bad luck.” Yang tried to comfort the AI, _Yeah, I've been meaning to ask you about this semblance thing. Another time though._

“Canines are historically known for their perceptive nose and heightened sense of sound! Making them excellent companions for investigations such as ours!” Oobleck yelled as Ruby got arrogant about accidentally doing a good thing.

“I'm a genius!” WBY and Church collectively face palmed.

Blake seems to have had enough, and wants to get right to the mission. “So what are your instructions, Doctor?”

Oobleck was excited to start. “Ah, yes! Right to the chase. As you may have been informed, the southeast area has been marked as a recent breeding ground for Grimm activity. There are many possibilities for this activity. One of these being… Grimm.”

_Oh, heads up. I'm picking up Grimm on your six. It's a whole pack._

Oobleck was the only one to notice. Ruby had to ask, “Uh, what do you mean?”

The doctor replied, “Grimm. A creature of Grimm about 90 meters from us right now.” Everyone turns around to see a Beowolf.

“What!?” Yang said, trying to be surprised, _Smooth_   Church said with a snort.

Everyone readied their weapons to attack but the doctor stopped them. “Stop! There are many reasons why Grimm might congregate in this area. The most probable is their attraction to negativity. Hatred, envy, loneliness, sadness. All qualities most likely held by our secret group harboring ill intent.”

“So what now?” Ruby asked, nervous about how long this might take.

“We wait, we track. If the specimen leads us to its pack, that pack may, in turn, lead us to our prey.” No one knew how long that could take.

“How long will we have to do this?” Weiss asked. The doctor had done this before, so he had an idea,

“It is uncertain. Hours, days, weeks. Why, lone Grimm have been seen isolated from their pack for months!”

 _That Grimm is gonna get fucking owned in 3... 2... 1..._ 'What are you talking about?'

Just then a bullet from nowhere came down and struck the Beowolf right through its head. It flopped over and immediately started to turn to dust. “WHOA!” Everyone yelled.

 _Did I do good?_ A new, third voice appeared.

_Yeah Theta, North would be proud. Oh Yang, meet Theta, he's the only person other than Delta, in the family that deals with math and angles and speed and all that stuff._

'Yo.' Yang greeted the newest addition. Theta suddenly became very nervous and scared.

 _Church, is she a regular girl, or a mean one?_   Church had had this conversation before with Caboose, so he knew exactly what to say.

 _What did I tell you buddy? There are no regular girls._ 'Should I be offended by that?' Yang asked. _That's for you to decide._

 

“And now the Grimm is dead, a missed opportunity." A few seconds pass "Oh, there's the whole pack.” A pack of Grimm begins to shamble out onto the street.

“What?” Weiss said in disbelief, the other half in disbelief in how odd the situation has turned out.

“And now they've spotted us.” The doctor informed the group.

“What?!” Weiss said a little louder. “AND NOW THEY HAVE SEEN US!!” Oobleck yelled at the top of his lungs.

“I'd guess that tracking is out of the question now?” Ruby sarcastically asked, the doctor missed it. “An accurate assumption, yes.”

Grimm start to run towards the group. “What's the plan then?” Yang nervously asked.

Everybody turned to see what Oobleck would say next. “You show me what you're capable of.” Everybody readied their weapons and runs to a different group of Grimm. Yang starts to run towards a group of about a dozen Grimm.

Time slows to a point where you can barely see movement. (Imagine a Slo-Mo-Guys sound effect) Church appears with Delta and Theta. _Alright, eleven Grimm. What do we know about these things D?_   Church asked towards Delta. _Aside from turning to dust after death, not much is known._ Church didn't react at all _Well, I'm sure Yang knows what she's doing. Try to get some data while we're here._ Time resumes to regular speed and Yang runs up to the first Grimm in the group and punches, while firing her gauntlets, creating enough force to break the Grimm’s neck, killing it.

The next ten Grimm go about the same way. Everybody finishes their batch of Grimm at roughly the same time, leading Ruby to say, “Piece of cake.” Oobleck didn't look impressed, “Do not celebrate yet. I'm sure this is the first battle of many. Shall we continue through the city?”

The rest of the day was RWBY killing Grimm and Oobleck telling the girls to keep going, and Church collecting data on how to kill Grimm easier. At some point through the day, Church could sense that Yang was getting increasingly frustrated with Oobleck.

 _Whoa, Yang what's up?_ Church tried opening the conversation, but Yang had tipped over.

“Hey doc, you know, I was actually looking forward to seeing a real huntsman in action, preferably fighting, or helping us fight.” Which was a fair point. He hadn't participated in any of the battles at all today, instead he searched the abandoned buildings.

“Ah, but I am in action, Yang. Scouring the ruins of this once amazing city for any tells of suspicious activity. Not every mission you go on will be filled with danger and risk, ladies. It may just be glorified extermination. Remember, this is a job. And you all signed up to do it.”

 

It was late afternoon and many skirmishes later when Oobleck began to ask the team questions. “Yang, inform me. Why did you choose to be a huntress?”

She thought for a moment, “Well, I want to fight monsters and sa-” Oobleck didn't like the answer he got, and clarified his query. “No, that is what you do. I want to know why you do it. The honest reasons you wanted to become a huntress.”

Yang didn't think as long to come up with an answer. “I'm a thrill seeker. I wanna go around the world and get into as many insane adventures as I can. And if people get helped along the way, hey, even better! It's a win-win.”

 _Am I thrilling?_   Church sarcastically asked, and Yang responded with the same amount of sarcasm. “You have your moments.”

 

It was very near sunset on Mountain Glenn and the group had finished the last battle. “Are we ready to keep going doc?” Ruby asked as she picked up Zwei and pet him. “No that will be all today. It will be dark soon.” Oobleck says as he takes his pack off and tosses it towards WBY. _Heads up!_ Church warns Yang, but he wasn’t quick enough. Leading to Yang getting beamed in the stomach with a backpack.

“You three,” Oobleck starts, indirectly instructing the non-leaders of team RWBY, “Go set up camp in that building. Oh! Please do make sure there are no more of those… Creatures. Your leader and I are going to secure the perimeter. Follow me, Ruby!” The doctor walks off with Ruby a couple steps behind. The rest of the group entered the building and cleared out a large enough space to start a fire, which Church objected to because that’s a fire hazard, and set sleeping bags around it.

By the time the girls had finished, the doctor and team leader haven’t returned, so the girls started to talk amongst themselves. “I can’t believe we haven’t found anything!” Yang exclaimed.

Blake, though, was more calm, “We have always been lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time. I guess we can’t always have good fortune on our side.” Weiss spoke up, changing the subject. “That’s not what I meant, earlier. About upholding the legacy. There’s way more to it than that.” Yang agreed with her teammate.

“Yeah, me too. I mean, I don’t know…” Yang trailed off and Blake picked up after her, “I don’t know either. I know what I want to do, but, I guess I’d take it day-to-day.” Blake thought out loud. “Well, it doesn’t matter now. We know why we’re here, right?” This was an opportunity to make a small joke only Church would get, but hey, a joke’s a joke.

Church snorts _Yeah, it’s one of life’s greatest mysteries, isn't it?_ Weiss broke the moment of silence to say, “It is one of life’s greatest mysteries, huh, Yang?” Church begins to laugh but only Yang can hear it. _Oh my god, if she continues it, we're gonna be good friends._

Weiss, decided to keep the thought going, much to Church's delight. “Are we the end product of some cosmic chance? Or is there some higher being looking down on us? With some kind of plan?” Church couldn’t hold himself together, he was laughing so much. _Oh my god, this has to be a prank. This has to be planned._ Yang was surprised herself. 'Uh, I don’t think you can plan this kind of stuff.' Church saved a video file of the last minute and made a note, _If I ever see those idiots again, I have to show them this._

After a moment, Oobleck and Ruby return from their private conversation. “Ah! A classic campfire! Great job ladies!”

A second later Ruby meanders on in and also notices the fire and rushes towards it and warms her hands. Oobleck, being Oobleck, had a tight schedule to keep. “Alright girls! Hurry and eat your dinners and go to sleep. We have a long day of walking and fighting in store for us! We also need a volunteer to keep watch over our temporary home and change shifts every few hours. Anyone willing to take the first shift?” Oobleck asked and Ruby’s was the first hand to go up.

“I’m down for some watching.” She declared as she made her way over to a window overlooking a large portion of the city.

The team ate their dinners and laid themselves down on their makeshift beds to sleep, and Church logs off for the night. A Grimm howl is heard and echos as Ruby cuddles Zwei saying, “Don’t worry. Things will be better tomorrow.”


	4. Mountain Glenn P2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this has been a fun experience, thanks for tagging along
> 
> Edited 1/14/18 Also also also more revisions
> 
> Edited 4/8/18 I made a joke

Yang’s dream opens on Yang and Blake rushing over to Ruby, who’s yelling, “Hurry up ladies! This isn’t an ice cream social!”

That struck an odd chord with Blake. “Ice cream social? What’s that?”

Ruby didn’t have time for any nonsense. “Cut the banter. Would anyone like to take a guess, as to why I gathered you here today?”

Yang took a shot in the dark, “Uh… Is it because the war’s over and we’re going home?”

Ruby wasn’t the best at detecting sarcasm, and took it as a real answer, “That’s precisely it, sis. The war’s finally over. We won. Turns out, you’re the big hero, and we’re gonna have a parade just for you. I get to drive the float, and Blake is iN CHARGE OF CONFETTI!”

“I’m no stranger to sarcasm, Rubes.” Ruby was really fed up with Yang. “Gosh hecking heck, Yang. Shut up right now or I’ll have Blake, here, slit your throat tonight.” Blake looked a little worried. “You wouldn’t actually make me do that? Would you, Ruby?”

Ruby looked a little offended that Blake wouldn’t immediately follow her orders, without a second thought. “Couple of things today, ladies. The Headmaster has seen it fit to increase our ranks, here at Menagerie Outpost Number One.” Yang wasn’t too excited to hear this.

“Crap, that means we’re getting a newbie.” Ruby was delighted to hear Yang’s disdain towards a new squad member “That’s right dead man. Our new man will arrive within the week, but today, we received the first part of our package from Beacon.”

Yang and Blake look at each other for a moment and look back towards Ruby when she says, “Zwei. Bring out the vehicle.” Zwei, in a full soldier’s armor with only his head visible, drove a car over a hill towards the group.

“Shotgun!” Yang yelled a split second before Blake did. “Damn it.” Blake muttered to herself.

“May I introduce to you, our new, light reconnaissance vehicle. It has four inch armor plating. Bullet-proof tires. State of the art sound system. A bluetooth radio, and total seating for three. Ladies, this is the T25 Light Reconnaissance Vehicle. I like to call it the Warthog.” Blake was curious about the name.“Why Warthog, sir?”

“Because T25 Light Reconnaissance Vehicle takes too long to say in a conversation, Blake.” Yang saw the point Blake was trying to get at.

“No, but… Why Warthog? It doesn’t really look like a pig.” Ruby was confused. “Say that again, Yang?”

“I think it looks more like a puma.” Ruby still didn’t understand what a puma was. “What in the Four Maidens is a puma?”

Blake was now as confused as Ruby. “What, like the shoe company in Vacuo?”

Yang tried to explain what a puma was. “No, it’s like a big cat. Blake shouldn’t you know? You’re part cat.” Blake was a little offended. “Just because I share a bit of genetics with a species doesn’t mean I know every animal that shares those genes, dummy.”

Ruby didn’t believe her sister. “You’re making that up, Yang.”

“I swear, it’s a real animal!” Yang pleaded. “Blake. I want you to poison Yang’s next meal.” Ruby ordered Blake.

“Do I really have to?” Blake asked, not sure if Ruby is being serious. “Does this look like a face that is uncertain?”

Ruby tries to make and hold a serious expression. It doesn’t last long. “Look, do you see these two tow hooks on the front?” Ruby walks towards the front of the WartPuma “They look like tusks, and what kind of animal has tusks?”

Yang picks the first animal she thought of. “A walrus.” Apparently Ruby wasn’t familiar with what a walrus was. “Didn’t I just tell you to stop making up animals!”

 

The scene zips over to a familiar cliffside as we see Ren and Nora spying on team RYBZ (Ribs). Nora didn’t have the binoculars, so she asked, “What is that thing?”

Ren replied with what info he had. “I don’t know. Looks like they have some kind of car down there. We better get back to base and report it to the Headmaster.”

Nora wasn’t worried about reporting the vehicle. “A car? How come they get a car!” She cried out.

“What are you complaining about, Nora? We’re about to get a tank in the very next supply drop.” Nora had her priorities in a different order. “You can’t go to a drive through in a tank. Or park your tank in a stall and go inside and eat. You can’t do anything useful in a tank.” Nora complained.

“Nora, you have a special power that very few have. You could probably complain about anything. We’re getting a tank and you’re worried about food. What restaurants are we gonna go to? We’re in a box canyon! And secondly, how would you even be allowed to go and get food in vehicle that probably isn’t even street legal!” Ren exclaimed.

Nora was trying to evaluate her options. “Well what kind of car is it?”

Ren looked back through his binoculars, “I don’t know, I’ve never seen a kind if car like that before. It looks like, uh… Like some kind of animal with a horn or two.” “What? Like a walrus?” Nora asked. “It’s a bit of a stretch, but yeah, I guess.”

 

“Hey, Yang. Wake up. It’s your shift.” Blake said while lightly shaking Yang into consciousness.

“Uh ugh… It’s a walrus. Not a warthog, Ruby.” Yang mumbled as she sat up and made her way to the window so she could keep watch over her team. It wasn’t long before Church, in all his blue glory, made an appearance.

“Do you ever wonder why we’re here?” He started in a semi-serious tone as he appeared into Yang’s sight.

“Oh, long time, no see, my little blue dude. What’s on your mind?” Yang asked Church out loud.

Yang figured that they were far enough away to have a quiet conversation, but she had forgotten Blake had better ears than the average Joe.

“I’m being serious. As far as Delta and I can tell, I shouldn’t be here. I’ve got my holographic money on the theory that: after I fragmented myself, I was somehow found in the possession of your Ozpin, and somehow reverted to a backup of myself, implanted into you, without your consent or knowledge. Delta likes the theory that when I fragmented myself, I was reconstructed inside your head. Even though that the chip and the implant frame show that I was placed there, by someone. It’s kind of ironic, I think, that the one that’s supposed to be super smart believes in the shittiest theory that we came up with. And I’m the one who believes the one that’s actually plausible. It shows what a dumbass the original Church was.”

Yang reaches behind her head and searches for this chip that Church mentioned. “Oh, I'm surprised I never actually found that.” Yang teased at the small chip at the base of her skull.

"Tell me about yourself," Yang asked. Now seemed like as good of a time as any.

"What do you want to know?" Yang took a second to narrow it down to something relatively specific. "Tell me about your team." The two did have a few hours to talk.

“Are you sure? This usually takes a while to tell.” Church cautioned Yang. “We’ve got all night. And if we don’t finish, we can always just pick up where we left off.” Yang negotiated with Church.

“Ok, but I can only tell it in five to six minute intervals. Any longer and you might lose important information that seems useless then, but becomes vital in the future.” Yang smirked at the joke. “Deal.”

"Well, it all started one day when the Reds got a delivery..."

 

Church had only made it in about ten minutes and Yang realized something. “Church, dude. I’ve been having dreams that are exactly like you’re telling them, except replace the original people and setting with real places here.” Yang noted, and Church made a mental note to investigate later.

“Sounds like a bad fan fiction,” Church was about to continue with his story but was interrupted by Blake, who was sitting up in her sleeping bag. “Yang? What’s going on?” Blake asked.

“Uh, Blake, meet Church. He’s an AI that’s been hanging out with me for a few days.” Yang started out, while Blake had a facial expression that was a mix between shock, confusion, and a bit of anger.

“And you never told your team about this? What happened to no secrets between us?” Yang was immediately backed into a corner.

Church tried to make a joke out of the situation. “Blake, think of it this way. Would you and the team either A, welcome me with open arms, or B, try to get me removed as fast as possible, because an unknown… thing… is inside of your friend’s head, and you’re scared that it's gonna affect her in some negative way.” Blake didn’t change her expression.

Yang couldn’t add anything so she simply added, “Yeah, what he said.” Blake was furious, but saw the point that Church was trying to make. “Yeah, I get it, but you couldn’t have told us earlier?”

Yang tried to justify her side. “He just kinda showed up the day before we left on this mission. I couldn’t just tell you when I knew you were gonna ask questions that I didn’t know the answers to.”

“We should have at least known, Yang.” Blake sighed, and Church spoke up. “I hate to break up the wonderful moment we’re having, but, where’s Ruby?” Both girls turned around to see an empty spot where Ruby should be. Blake stood up and started to wake up Weiss. “We’ll finish this later. But now, we go find Ruby.”

 

Blake and Yang woke up Oobleck and Weiss to go find Ruby. When they all started to head out, Zwei runs in and starts barking frantically. Oobleck somehow recognizes what is going on. “Grab your weapons, girls. Your leader may be in danger.”

The group headed out and followed Zwei to wherever he last saw Ruby. They walk up to a large hole in the middle of a street, and see Crescent Rose a few feet from the hole. “It’s Ruby’s scythe!” Yang calls out as the group reaches a gaping hole, with Crescent Rose a few feet away from the hole.

“Do you think she fell down there?” Weiss asked, Oobleck took a peek down the hole and made a connection he previously hadn’t. “Of course! How could I be so stupid!” Oobleck yelled in frustration.

“Dr Oobleck, what’s wrong?” Weiss asked worriedly.

Oobleck started to think out loud, connecting the dots. “Mountain Glenn. An expansion of Vale that was destroyed by creatures of Grimm. Penultimately home to thousands of citizens. Working people, commuting to and from the city using a newly developed subway system. Grimm attacks increase, the population is in peril, desperately looking for shelter. The inhabitants evacuate into the subway tunnels and what do they find? That the southeast quadrant of Vale is home to wild forests and expansive caves!” Oobleck spits out all this information, none of it is really sticking to any of the team.

“Doc, what’re you saying?” Yang asked.

“We aren’t looking for an underground crime network! WE’RE LOOKING FOR AN UNDERGROUND, UNDERGROUND CRIME NETWORK!” What Oobleck said was starting to sink in.

“Are you saying they’ve been working in caves?” Blake asked, looking for clarification.

“No, no. Mountain Glenn was Vale’s first genuine attempt at expansion. It worked for a small amount of time, thanks to a aggressive border defense and a specially designed transportation system. The city developed an extensive subway system to carry citizens safely between the expansion and the kingdom. Unfortunately, without the numerous natural barriers of Vale has to protect itself, Mountain Glenn was doomed to fail from the start. As their untimely end drew near, the population made one, last ditch effort to survive. They holed up in the tunnels that were built to transport them there, and cut themselves off from any contact.” Yang tried to make sense of this. “An underground city?” Yang asked the doc.

 _No, it’s an underground water park._ Church sarcastically added.

Oobleck continued. “In a matter of speaking, yes. A, safe haven, if you will. Until… An explosion, somewhere else in the caves opened a hole for the Grimm to get in.”

Everybody is silent for a moment in memory of the lost souls. “After that, the kingdom officially sealed off the tunnels. Creating the world’s largest graveyard.”

Another moment of silence. “If your leader is down there,” Oobleck pulls out his thermos and it quickly turns into a sort of staff. “We must get her back.”

 _How does that have room for coffee, if it transforms into a staff?_ Church asked, focusing on the truly important questions. 'Ruby has a sniper-scythe. Blake has a shooty-sword. Weiss has a rapier-revolver, and I have shotguns on my wrists. I thought you would have picked up on the idea that we have ridiculous weapons.' Yang teased Church.

 _No, I get that. Trust me, I do. I want to know how he holds coffee in there AND transforms it into a badass staff._ Church said, genuinely curious about Oobleck’s wonder-staff. 'Maybe another time.'

There was no obvious way down into the caves, so the group decided to jump down into the hole with the help of Weiss’s glyphs. Not long after they reached the bottom, they met some White Fang members and a battle ensued. The group quickly overpowered the White Fang members and they began to flee towards the main complex. After chasing the retreating White Fang they saw Ruby with another group of White Fang with a man in a bowler hat, who stood out from the rest.

 _That’s that Torchwick guy I keep hearing about, right?_ Church asked to Yang, who responded, 'Yeah, we don’t like him.'

The group ran up to meet Ruby, Yang was the first to get to her and hug Ruby like there was no tomorrow. “Ruby! Are you okay?”

Ruby quickly pushed off her sister because she had important news. “I’m fine! Torchwick’s got a ton of robots and weapons down here.” Nobody was expecting to hear this.

“What?” Weiss asked in disbelief.

Ruby continued, “Mechs, androids. They’re all loaded up in those train cars.” Oobleck didn’t think Ruby was correct. “That’s ridiculous, Ruby! The tunnels are sealed! These tracks lead to nowhere!”

A loudspeaker screeches on and Torchwick directs everybody, “To your places! We are departing now!” The train begins lurching forward as White Fang scramble to board it. “Well it sounds like they’re going somewhere!” Yang yelled over the noise of the train.

“We need backup! I’m gonna call Pyrrha!” Ruby yells as she pulls out her scroll to call her friend. Her call doesn’t go through, but Church sees his time to shine.

 _I'll try to see if I can boost the signal._ Church says as he dives into Ruby’s scroll.

“Try it again!” Yang yells, still over the train. Church’s tweaking helped get Ruby’s call out to Pyrrha, but the connection wasn’t great.

A garbled “Hello?” is heard from the other side. “Pyrrha! We need help! Get to Mountain Glenn ASAP!”

Very little of that was understandable to Pyrrha, “Ruby? I cannot understand you very well. What is wrong? How can I-” The call is cut off before Pyrrha could finish.

_Should’ve expected this. We’re in a fucking cave after all._

“So what do we do now?” Weiss asked to Oobleck, who responded, “It looks like we only have one option.” Oobleck started, and Ruby finished. “We’re stopping that train.”

 

The train is speeding down the track as fast as it can go. Luckily, it took a bit of time to reach top speed, as it let the gang get onto the back of the train without a problem. One of the White Fang at the back of the train noticed a mysterious red cape fluttering on the last car and went to call it in. “Hey, they’re o-” He was knocked out by Oobleck's Coffee Staff before he could finish his call.

The group gathered around Oobleck as he thought out the next step in their plan to stop the train. “Alright children! We must get to the front and stop this train from wherever it is going!” Oobleck yelled so everyone could hear. Meanwhile Weiss took a look around the train car and noticed a peculiar device.

“Uh… Professor?” Weiss asked towards the huntsman. “It’s Doctor…” Oobleck replied with a bit of frustration, Weiss didn’t pay attention and asked her question. “What’s that?” She asked pointing to a metallic cylinder with several colored wires protruding from the sides.

Oobleck used his keen huntsman observational skills to produce the following assessment of the problem at hand. “That, Weiss, appears to be a bomb.” _A_

 _bomb? I thought it was tube of toothpaste!_ Church mocked and Yang snickered a bit as RWBY took a few steps away from the “Bomb”

 _Also, watch out, about 30 or so White Fang making their way towards us from the other end of the train, and a ton more sitting inside the cars._ Church noted as Ruby made the same statement, just more slowly.

“Well, I didn’t expect them to go easy-” Oobleck started, but he was cut off when the “Bomb” began to make a high pitched tone. “On us… Time to run!” Oobleck finished as he also yelled towards Blake, "Detatch the caboose! It will kill us all!"

_We should have done that years ago._

Just as Blake was going to sever the connection between the train cars, it detached by itself. “It decoupled itself!” Blake yelled as loud as she could so the doc could hear. “What? That doesn’t make sense!” Oobleck yelled as the train car exploded on the tracks, a little ways away from the train.

“I guess they REALLY don’t want us on the train.” Yang thought out loud.

 _No, Yang you got it all wrong. That was a sign that they’re friendly. Where I’m from, blowing shit up is a way of saying “let’s bond over death and destruction” !_ Church sarcastically added. 'Not the time, Church.' Yang silenced the AI before Ruby interrupted. “Uh, we got a problem!”

Blake was in disbelief, “Another bomb!?” Oobleck, in this period of time, had come up with a theory, and it wasn’t a good one. He ran to the next car down, and opened the hatch to see another bomb, he then ran to the next car down the line.

He yelled down the train to the girls, “They! All! Have! Bombs!” At the same time, the bomb under RWBY’s feet powers up and the car detaches, causing all the girls to leap to the next train. Yang was furious, “This doesn’t make sense!” She yelled, and her team silently agreed, but Church knew all too well what Torchwick was planning.

 _Trust me when I say that I know what they're trying to do, but it would take too long to explain._ 'You have a knack for being an inconvenience at the worst possible times.' Yang thought to her AI. _What can I say? It’s part of my charm._

As the White Fang approach, RWBY moves in front of Oobleck and gets into their respective stances. Yang is the first to attack, sideswiping the first attacker, leaving him motionless in the air for only a second, and punching him right in the face, and winks while in slow motion. _Isn’t she cool, Church?_   Theta asked Church, who responded, _Yeah, she’s no regular girl, alright._

As the team defeats wave after wave of White Fang attacks, another train car detaches and explodes, this time letting in Grimm of all shapes and sizes into the tunnel. The Grimm begin to run/slither towards the train. An appropriate, “Oh my…” was uttered by Oobleck, as he realized Torchwick’s plan.

“He’s leading Grimm to the city!” Oobleck yelled up the train to the rest of the group. “It’s the cars! They decouple and explode, opening holes in the tunnels for Grimm to get in!” Oobleck explained to the team. 'That didn’t take long to explain at all Church!' Yang thought-yelled to Church, and he half-assed a comeback, _He was way more blunt and general than how I would’ve explained it._

Oobleck thought about what they had to do. “You three!” Oobleck referring to Weiss, Blake, and Yang, “Go into the cars and try to shut off those bombs! Ruby! You and I are going to stop this train.” Oobleck finished with a heroic tone, but Ruby ruined the moment. “Yeah, I said that. Like, ten minutes ago, before we got on the train.”

WBY dropped below into one of the train cars and began to move towards the front of the train. Weiss produced a multi-colored clip of dust and gave it to Blake.

The three of them made it through the first bulkhead and were confronted by Neo, an awkward moment passed while each side sized the other up. “You guys go ahead, she’s mine.” Yang told Weiss and Blake, they agreed without question and ran past Neo while Yang created a distraction to let them pass.

After Weiss and Blake left, Church appeared. “You two know each other?” He jokingly asked.

Neo cocked her head to one side in confusion as she saw Church, and knew something fishy was up with her favorite huntress team. “Yeah. We’ve met. We’re great friends actually, aren’t we?” The last part was directed at Neo, who looked even more confused. “She doesn’t talk much when she meets new people, sorry.” Yang shooed Church away as she got closer to Neo. When they were a few feet apart, they took a moment before the fight to silently taunt each other.

Yang was the first to throw a punch, as usual when she gets into fights. Neo saw it coming a mile away and blocked it, while kicking Yang in the stomach, knocking her back. Neo, as smug as possible, opened her parasol, and settled into a relaxed position.

 _I see why you two don’t get along._ Church added before Yang sprinted towards Neo, throwing several punches, all missing or blocked by Neo.

Neo takes advantage of an opening and roundhouse kicks Yang, knocking her to the ground. Yang quickly dodges a kick and gets back up, and goes on the offensive again. Several punches and kicks were thrown, and blocked in short bursts, Neo taking advantage of another weak spot, knocks Yang down again.

 _Whoa, Yang slow down! Don’t be so aggressive. She finds your weak spots easier that way._ Church suggested.

Yang ignored Church’s suggestion, and began another onslaught of punches and kicks, with some shotgun blasts thrown in. All of these attacks were blocked or deflected, which resulted a tired Yang, and an arrogant Neo, sitting calmly atop a stack of crates.

Church took this short pause to try to talk to Yang. _So here’s what I suggest you do. Try-_

He was cut off before he could finish his “tactical advice”. 'Church, I got this. I can beat her!' Yang thought-yelled to the AI.

Neo found the situation so hilarious. Yang had… whatever this “Church” is, and still couldn’t beat her. _Fine, lose for all I care._ Church said before disappearing.

Yang got into a battle stance and prepared to fight once more. As she walked towards Neo, she started the final bout of the battle. Many blocked and dodged shotgun blasts, kicks, and punches later, Neo finds yet another opening and exploits it to the point where Neo got on top of Yang’s head and used her gravity to propel Yang towards the ceiling, hitting it, and then hitting the floor with the same amount of force, ultimately knocking her unconscious.

Neo walked over to a knocked out Yang and separated the parasol into the umbrella portion, and a long, slender blade. Neo lifted the blade with a mischievous grin, and the intent to kill Yang until Church phased into reality on the floor next to Yang’s head. “So, Neo, was it? I got a proposition for ya,” Church started improvising, which wasn’t his best talent. “How about you don’t kill my friend here, and you just walk away, right now?” Church changed his usual voice into a little deeper version. "Because you dont want to mess with this." Church's sniper dematerialized and he threw up his fists into a defensive, fisticuffs stance.

Neo doesn't see him as a threat and brings her blade back up into a striking position, but is quickly distracted by a third person entered from the ceiling hatch, catching Neo off guard. The mysterious person took a dramatically long time to turn themself towards Neo and Yang, and drew a long-bladed katana. Neo saw she was outmatched instantly and got out of the train car as fast as possible, which was a spooky smoke-grenade like move. Church projected himself on top of an unconscious Yang to talk to the mysterious saviour. “Thanks… mysterious… ninja, lady. You’re truly the MVP here.” The mysterious person looked at Church for a moment, then used the blade of their katana to made a portal to somewhere unknown and stepped through it. Church shifted his focus on to Yang and thought,

_Man… She’s gonna be pissed when she wakes up._


	5. The Aftermath Of Mountain Glenn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know that I haven’t updated this for a long while. Long story short: family sucks, and school sucks. I’m gonna put an honest effort into once a month/month and a half upload schedule.
> 
> Edited 1/15/18. More revisions and the likes.

Weiss was dropped into a box shaped canyon, seemingly in the middle of nowhere. She pulled out her scroll and checked her orders.

1) Make contact at Red Base  
2) Debrief with CO  
3) Follow orders

Weiss saw a base with red markings all over and made her way over. When she got to the base, two other people were idly standing around, having a conversation. “That’s not what happened, and you know it!” Blake said as she appeared to get angry.

“Hey, you said, ‘For the last time, I’m not going to Mistral!’ And the next thing I know, you’re on the next train back to B---” Yang wasn’t able to finish because she was interrupted by Weiss.

“Excuse me, ma'ams?” Weiss asked to Blake and Yang. Yang was caught off guard. “Ma’ams? Oh no…” Weiss ignored Yang’s despair.

“My orders say to report to Menagerie Outpost Number One and speak to whoever is in charge.” Weiss said, expecting either Blake or Yang to be the one in charge.

“Sorry, but Ruby’s at Beacon getting orders. Nobody’s in charge today.” Yang said.

“Actually, Yang." Blake corrected her partner. "Ruby left me in charge today, and she told me that if I have any problems with you, that I should,” Blake clears her throat and begins an unsuccessful attempt at imitating Ruby’s voice. “ 'Get in the Warthog, and crush Ember Cilica as if it were paper mache' .”

Yang wasn’t impressed. “Blake, that has to be, the worst impression I’ve ever heard, of all time.” Blake wasn’t phased by Yang’s insult, and focused on Weiss.

“Alright rookie, what’s your story?” Weiss replied, “Weiss Schnee, reporting for training. Ready to fight some Grimm.” Yang wasn’t prepared for the situation she was thrown into.

“A Schnee? Aren’t you supposed to be at some desk job, counting dust crystals? Secondly, what’s with your clothing? Do you really wear a dress & heels into battles?” Yang asked, a little too aggressively.

“This is a combat skirt, not a dress, and she’s wearing heels too!” Weiss shot back, pointing at Blake’s boots but Blake didn’t help her case.

“No. I’m wearing boots with a heightened heel. You’re wearing heels.” Weiss couldn’t see the difference between them.

“What? They’re the same thing!” Yang sighed and said, “Man, I bet the other team doesn’t have to deal with this.”

 

The scene once again whirled around to the other side of the canyon. To see Ren and Nora, with their new addition, Jaune. “So I asked the guy, ‘How’re you gonna get the tank down from the ship?’ and he says, ‘We just put it on the ship.’ and I go, ‘Well, if you can put a tank on the ship… Why not just put guns on the ship!’ “ Nobody was enjoying Jaune’s story.

“Hey kid?” Ren asked, “Yeah?” Jaune replied.

“Shut up. You’re ruining the moment.” Nora answered. “Oh, ok.” Jaune said sadly.

 

It might have been only been a few minutes in Yang’s Menagerie Gulch, but in reality, only a moment had passed. Yang began to sit up and noticed a strange vacancy in her thoughts. “Church?” She asked out loud. “Welcome back Sleeping Beauty, how was your catnap?” Church greeted Yang sarcastically. “Hey man, do you want to handle the next fight?”

Church quickly backed down. “I think I’ll let you handle the fight-y parts. I’ll stick to my sarcastic commentary.”

Yang caught up with her teammates on the roof a train car further down the line, a large wall covering up the whole tunnel approaching fast. “Uh, what do we do about that?” Blake asked worriedly. Weiss immediately drew her rapier with an ice cartridge loaded.

She impaled the hull of the train car’s roof and a shield of ice formed around the four huntresses. The wall inevitably approached, the train crashed into the wall at full speed, sending debris everywhere.

The team regained consciousness only seconds later to see a crowd of passersby standing around watching what just happened unfold further. After a few awkward moments of RWBY looking at the crowd, and vice versa later, scattered rumbling from inside the tunnels crescendoed into an explosion of Grimm that start to flow out onto the street. The pedestrians scatter and RWBY prepares for another fight.

Ruby, assuming her leadership position, called out orders while she tried to make a call out to Jaune and team JNPR, who’s still at Beacon. Yang, consistently pounds away at whatever Grimm came near her and her team. It was about fifteen minutes of pure action before team JNPR and several other teams came to help contain the Grimm invasion.

 

After the last Grimm had died and the dust had cleared, the huntsman/huntress teams cleared out and went back to Beacon. On the landing pad, the teams gathered and began to catch up. After a big celebration dinner and an announcement that the students had been given a rare day off because of their excellent work, team RWBY vacated to the cliff overlooking the Emerald Forest, where their initiation began, what felt like ages ago.

“Well, we did it.” Yang said, much to the agreement of the others.

“Yeah, we did.” Blake agreed, but Weiss wasn’t as relaxed yet. “If we don’t get extra credit for this, I’m going to be severely disappointed.”

 _You can get disappointed about anything, Ice Queen._ Church joked, and Yang held in a laugh.

“Weiss, a giant, two-headed snake demolished a bakery. I think we’ll get all the credits we need.” Yang responded.

Ruby has a less happy approach to this, contrary to her personality. “And, I mean, we didn’t even really solve everything. We still don’t know why ‘they’ did this and got a lot of people hurt, or who that mystery girl from earlier was.” Ruby complained, but Weiss tried to comfort her leader.

“Well, Ruby, not every story has a neat bow to wrap it all up.” _Yeah, I’m a great example of that._

Blake continued on Weiss’s thought. “We might not have the answers we wanted, but we do have a lot of bad guys behind bars today. I think that’s enough to be happy about.” Ruby felt satisfied after her team’s input on her thoughts.

“Yeah! And if they ever try to do that again, we’ll be ready!” As Ruby finished, Yang began to stretch out and lay down on the floor saying weakly, “Yay, good work team! camaraderie, etcetera, etcetera.”

Ruby took this a hint to move to another subject. “So… What now?”

Everyone was silent, but Blake knew what she wanted to do. “I know. I think it’s time Yang introduced her friend.” Yang froze, which wasn’t hard, because she was on the floor. 

_Just act cool._

"I don't know what you're talking about," Yang denied.

Blake wasn’t gonna take no for an answer. “Stop lying. Right before we noticed Ruby was missing, you were talking to a small blue... thing!” Yang kept her composure.

“You guys talking about me?” Church appeared between Yang and Blake greeted the group, and Blake instinctively tried to swat him out of the air with her cat-like reflexes.

Yang was the first to speak after an awkward silence that went way longer than it needed to. “So, guys. This is Church… Say hi, Church.”

“ 'Sup." Church greeted the group. There was a moment of shock and confusion between the three girls 

"My name’s Leonard, but most people call me Church.” Silence persisted until Ruby spoke up. “So you were the one helping Yang with her puns!” Ruby declared.

“I, actually, had no influence in that. Your sister is just naturally gifted with abysmal comedy.” He chuckled as Yang scowled at him.

"But nice to meet you too, Ruby. I've already met Blake," Blake was still swatting through him, like a cat swatting a laser.

“So that must make you the Ice Queen.” Weiss reacted immediately. “Hey! Why does everybody call me that?” The rest of the group laughed. Ruby saw that the sun was on the horizon. “So… Bed time?” The rest of the team agreed. “Yes,” “Definitely,” “Can’t wait.”

 

The rest of the night was uneventful. Everybody got ready and went to bed without another word to, or about Church, although each of the girls were already forming their own opinion of him. The next morning was different, though. Yang was woken up to Ruby trying to jam Church’s AI card into Crescent Rose, much to Church’s protesting.

“Ruby! I’m not compatable with your gun! How many times do I need to say it!” Ruby was determined to make his AI card fit into the sniper-scythe by any means necessary.

Yang slowly got out of bed and walked over to Ruby. “Rubes? Can I have Church back? He's not goint to fit into Crescent. There's no implant port” Ruby didn’t want to give him up so easily though.

“But Yaaaang! He can fit, I know he can!” Church protested once again. “No I won’t! Just stop trying!”

“Fine.” Ruby gave up and tossed him over to Yang, and she took this moment to examine the small device. “What are all these markings all over it?” Yang asked. “Those are the markings representing Project Freelancer, the assholes who made me.” Church answered.

Yang quickly covered Ruby's ears and scolded Church. "She's fifteen! Don't say bad words around her!" Ruby released herself from Yang's protective grip, complaining about her maturity.

"Yang! I'm a big girl! I can use adult words!" She crossed her arms. "I drink milk!"

The last statement confused Church. "What? Why would you drinking milk allow you to use 'adult words'?" Making air quotes around 'adult words', he asks towards Yang. Yang sighs and replies, "Just... Don't worry about it."

At this point, Weiss was up and glaring at everybody. “What are you yelling about? It’s too early.” Church informed Weiss of the current situation. “Your team leader here, is trying to plug me into her gun like an attatchment.”

Weiss didn’t understand the purpose. “We don't even know where Church is from. There’s no possible way you can add him to your weapon.” Church was glad Weiss had agreed with him, “Thanks, Ice Queen”

“Hey! Can’t you call me anything else?” “How about... Weiss Queen?” Weiss sighs and enters the bathroom to get ready, leaving Yang and Ruby giggling, and Blake peeking her head over the side of her bed. “That was a terrible pun.”

Church was insulted. “What, did you have a better one?”

Blake had a name she’d been holding for a while. “Yeah. I do, actually. A Weiss-ted opportunity at a friend.” That got laughs from all of them, and a muffled “Hey!” from Weiss in the bathroom.

About ten minutes later, when everybody was ready for the day, the team set out for the training rooms. “I thought you guys would would take this day off to rest, maybe hang out with your friends.” Church stated, and Yang promptly responded. “Nah, the grind never stops, little dude.”

“Alright, well are we gonna spar against another group, or against each other?” Church asked Ruby. “We're gonna start with our regular training, then move to one-on-one, then two on two, and then we'll have your chill time.” Ruby answered.

The first match was between Weiss and Blake. Blake won through confusing Weiss with Blake’s semblance, making body doubles to take hits. Next was Ruby and Yang, with Church out of the match. Much to Weiss's dismay, she was stuck with Church for the short duration of the match. Yang knew Ruby’s weakness was hand to hand, so getting her scythe out of the equation was priority number one. The battle was in stalemate for the majority of the fight. The tail end fight ended quickly after she lost Crescent Rose. She’s defenseless without it.

“Woo! That was fun!” Yang yelled as she stretched out after the fight ended.

“No fair! I’m an easy target once my weapon is out of my hands!” Ruby whined, and Church gave his ‘advice’ about the fight. “That’s true, so instead of working on improving your skills with your scythle. Work on how you can defend yourself without your blade-gun.”

Ruby pouted and Weiss agreed with the blue projection. “He’s right. Once you don’t have your weapon, what do you have to defend yourself? Your semblance? You should really only use that when nothing else works, a last resort. It won’t be able to save you every time.”

A saddened Ruby led her team to the cafeteria for lunch, and rest before the two-on-two matches. When everyone got their food and was seated at their table, Church appeared at the center of the table, and Ruby started a conversation. "So, Church. Tell us about yourself."

Church thought for a second. "Well, I'm an artificial intelligence unit. Actually, I'm a fragment of an artificial intelligence unit, that was based on a man at the head of a project that was trying to win a war between humans and aliens. And that director was a dick." Yang shot him a disapproving glance, but didn't say anything. Ruby continued, "Do you have any fun stories?"

Church chuckled, "Oh yeah, I've definitely got some. Would you like to hear about how I got killed, on multiple occasions? Or, would you like to hear about how I got sent back in time?"


	6. The Vytal Festival P1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof. I went all of Feb without uploading im super sorry.

Team RWBY was practically asleep the second they got back to their room. It was a day filled with training, training, and some more training since classes were canceled due to a ‘successful’ defense against a Grimm attack. Over the next week, Church and the team fell back into their school routine, with several training sessions mixed in. Having Church around made learning a lot easier for the team.

He would record the entire lecture, cut it down to the essentials and any extra notes that Delta felt was needed. Weiss was the only one that didn’t rely on Church for taking notes in class. She didn’t want her work done by anyone else. Blake only gave in because Oobleck was unable to understand because he spoke so fast.

The Vytal was scheduled to start at the end of the week, and RWBY was one of the first Beacon teams to compete. When Ruby and her team stepped out into that arena, it felt like the whole world was watching, and it was. While the fight down in the arena started, Church was given the _very important_ job of watching and critiquing their performance. Except for that wasn’t what Church was doing.

In classic Blood Gulch fashion he disobeyed orders and went off to do whatever he wanted to instead. Church was off inside Beacon’s computers, looking at the tournament and its competitors. Making predictions about matches, and who’d be the winner of the entire thing.

“Hey, D. Come check this out.” Delta materializes next to Church, “Yes?” Delta asks.

“We can mess with some of the data in here.” He turns towards Delta. “ Oh, this is gonna be fun.”

 

“TEAM RWBY IS VICTORIOUS!” Professor Port boomed over the entire stadium. Team RWBY looks at each other with pride and glee that they won their first match.

“We did it?” Weiss asked, as if the cheering crowd wasn’t a big enough hint. Church appeared and addressed the group. “No, Weiss. We lost, they’re just celebrating our defeat. Celebrating by cheering the name of the losing team.” Weiss sent a cold stare in Church’s direction. He crossed his arms in retaliation.

“Your glares have no effect on me, Weiss. I was the best in Blood Gulch when it came to intimidation.” He then sent a mental plea to Yang. _I lied. I’m actually terrified. Please make her stop looking at me._

Ruby took the attention off of Church, leaping into the air and screaming, “We did it!” With the scene suddenly switching from the arena floor to an area filled with about two dozen different food vendors.

In the new setting, Ruby landed, clutching her stomach and straining to say, “Is anyone else starving?” Church thought he was the only one to pick up on this sudden change in scenery.

 _Yang? How did… We were at the arena, and now we’re here? What?_ Yang calmly replied, 'Don’t worry about it, man. It happens all the time. You get used to it.'

Church couldn’t let go of this unusual transition. _At least the teleportation grenades made a little sense._ Yang received snippets of the use of the Teleportation Grenades on Chorus. 'Just don’t worry about it.' Yang reassured Church.

 _I think I need to go lie down._ Church said with a pained expression.

Blake brought the two from their thoughts as she replied to Ruby’s question. “I might have worked up an appetite.”

The following sound that came from Blake was one that can only be described as inhuman. Church appeared to the team following the abomination of a sound. “Real classy, Blake.”

“Gee,” Weiss started saying, more sarcastic than she usually would, “If only there was some place to get food on campus, oh wait!” The team looked at her with various levels of annoyance.

'Wow, that was really sarcastic. Even by her standards.' Yang thought to Church. He replied with enough sarcasm to match Weiss’s previous statement.

 _Really? I thought she was just bad at observing._ Yang scoffed mentally and replied, 'What is it? National Sarcasm Day or something?'

Ruby put her hand on Weiss’s shoulder and apologetically said, “It’s okay Weiss. I forget about the fairgrounds too.” She brushes Ruby’s hand off of her shoulder and replied, “Ruby, I was being sarcastic.”

Ruby stumbles on her words and throws her arms in the air, like she just didn’t care. “Well why didn’t you say anything if you were hungry?” Yang broke the two up and started walking off. “Follow me. I know the perfect place.”

 _Fuck, I’m too late! Again!_ Church yelled in frustration, inside the safety of Yang’s head. 'What? Hey, too late for what?' Was all Yang could get out before she was interrupted by someone behind them.

“Hey!” Emerald exclaimed, holding a wallet out to Ruby. _That’s what I’m too late for._ Church says with a sigh.

“Might be hard to eat without this!” Still holding the wallet out to Ruby, she began frantically searching all of her pockets, with a few “No!” ’s sprinkled in. “Good to see you, Ruby,” Emerald said as she walked closer and handed Ruby’s wallet over to its rightful owner.

“Thanks Emerald! I guess I dropped it again. I think I need bigger pockets.” Yang and the rest walk back towards Ruby and Emerald.

“What’s up, Em?” Yang asks as she joins the group. “I just got out of the stadium after seeing your guys’ fight. It was awesome!” Ruby begins to fumble over her words, again, and thanks Emerald for her kind words.

“I heard your team made it to the next round too.” Blake said, congratulating Emerald. “You know,” Weiss started, more observant than sarcastic this time, “ I feel like we never see of your other teammates.” Weiss’s amazing point was overshadowed by Yang asking how Emerald’s team did.

She took a second to think about it. “Uh… Pretty good.”

Ruby offered to take Emerald and her team out for a victory meal together, but she declined on account of her team’s social awkwardness. As Emerald and Ruby & Co separated, Yang took the lead and continued on her way to whatever restaurant she was headed for. Church appeared next to Yang and chuckled to himself. “Heh. Yeah, I can relate to her not wanting to bring her team. I wouldn’t let anyone meet Blue Team, or Red Team, or anyone I know really.”

Ruby took one for the team and asked, “Why’s that, Church?” He turned to Ruby and continued.

“Here’s a quick synopsis of Blood Gulch, where everything started. My team, Blue Team, you can tell because I’m blue, was led by me. Tucker was a huge pervert. Sister, where I come from, can be described as a... ‘Bimbo’. I don’t know if you have a word like that or not.” Yang turned around, with her eyes flickering red for moment and said, “Yeah, it’s a word. One I’ve gotten on occasion.”

Nobody decided to say anything about this, and Church continued. “And Caboose was… Well, you had to know him to understand.” Church gave everyone a moment to think about this, and then continued.

“Red Team, the opposing team in Blood Gulch, was led by Sarge, a wannabe drill sergeant that has spent far too much time in the army and got put in charge of: Lazy, Kiss-Ass, Pretty in Pink, and a robot that spoke Spanish.” Church explained.

Team RWBY looked amongst each other. “What’s Spanish?” Weiss asked.

"It’s another language that we, where I’m from, speak.” The team traded glances again. “That just causes unnecessary problems.” Blake said.

“Yes it did. It caused a lot of unnecessary problems that could have been easily avoided.” Yang slows down and motions everyone to take a seat at the vendor in front of them. “If only Esperanto took off.”

 

 

“I’ll take a regular, please.” The cook made a bowl of the regular and slid it to Yang. Ruby looked over at Yang’s meal and ordered the same. Weiss tried to order something healthier, but was given, with no surprise, a regular.

Blake… Had something else entirely. Let’s just say that it had a lot of fish.

With everyone waiting to eat Weiss produced, probably one of many, credit cards with 'Schnee Dust Company' embossed on the front. “Aw! Weiss what’s the occasion?” Yang asked her teammate. Weiss looked over towards Yang and smugly said, “Consider it a thank you for sending me to the doubles round.”

That look was wiped from her face as quick as it had come. The cook handed Weiss back her card and pointed over to the register, it read “Declined”. She was flabbergasted.

“What? How can it decline my card? I’ve barely used any of my allowance for this month!” Church floated overtop of Ruby and next to Weiss. “What, daddy doesn’t love you enough?” Church said with a chuckle.

All of team RWBY cringed. “Hey, uh, Church?” Ruby whispered to the AI, “I know you haven’t been here long and you don’t know us that well, but family is a touchy subject for Weiss. So if you couldn’t do that, we would all appreciate it.” Church looks over to Weiss and back to Ruby.

Before Church could get an apology in, like he was going to say one anyway, team JNPR showed up. “Maybe I could be of assistance?” Pyrrha asked. “Oh, you don’t have to!” Yang replied.

“But she could!” Blake nearly yelled.

Blake seemed to really want that meal.

“Well,” Pyrrha started, glancing across the team, “I think you deserved it after that match!” Jaune then added, “Mind if we join you?”

JNPR took a seat on the table adjacent to RWBY. It was only a minute of small talk before Nora asked what was on all of JRPR’s minds. “So who’s this little blue guy?” Nora asked, not taking her eyes off Church, no one from JNPR could.

RWB looked towards Yang to answer, because after all, Church was Yang’s. “This is Church. He’s an… What are you again?” Church sighed and gave a speech he had prepared for times like these. ”I am an AI. For those of you who don’t know, that stands for Artificial Intelligence.”

Jaune raised his hand. “Artificial,” Church said. Jaune's hand was still raised. “Intelligence,” Jaune lowered his hand.

“Let’s move on. A basic summary of what I do is: I'm a really smart computer program that does computer calculations that help in battles, really fast.” Ruby decided to interject, with an important addition. “Which you have yet to actually do.”

Church turned around to face Ruby, “Because no one will let me,” Church was having trouble keeping the anger out of his voice. "All I'm asking is for one time, man. I swear, I'm made to be used in fights!"

Ruby sat back down, and Church turned back to Jaune & Co, “Anyway, in conclusion, I'm pretty smart. That’s about it.” He disintegrated until he was needed again, and let team JNPR think about their new friend.

Pyrrha was the first to say anything for a few seconds. “How long has he been with you?” Yang answered for Church. “He’s been here just over a week. He mysteriously arrived the day before we all went on our first missions.”

The rest of the meal went on like this. A big Q&A session. JNPR asking questions, and Church and Yang answering to the best of their ability. The last question stumped both Yang and Church. Jaune asked, “Why are you here? Are you and Yang some kind of experiment, or… something else, I don’t know.”

The AI and Huntress looked at each other, and Church answered. “Well, that’s up for debate right now. No one knows where I came from or why I’m here.” Church decided to end it with a little joke.

“Right now it’s one of life’s greatest mysteries.” Yang gave a little chuckle, and everybody looked over toward her. “Oh, don't worry, it's just a little joke.” Church laughed a little too. “Yeah, hang around long enough and you’ll get sick of hearing it.”

All eight Hunters and Huntresses finished their meal and sat for a moment in silence. Ren broke the silence. “Are you sure that it was wise to have eaten before a fight, Pyrrha?”

Pyrrha looked over toward him and replied, “Of course! It will give us the energy to win!”

Church turned and looked over to Jaune. “Looks like he’s overdosed on that energy.” Jaune tried to lift himself from the table, got halfway and fell back down. “Ugh. If I barf I’m blaming it on you, Pyrrha.”

Nora got a sinister look on her face all of the sudden. “Ooh! Aim it at the enemy!” Yang suddenly looked up. She sensed the opportunity for a joke. Church turned toward her and pointed a finger. “Don’t you dare!” Church warned, but Yang went on anyway. “I guess you could call that attack, ‘Vomit Boy Strikes Back’! ”

Team RWBY burst into a fit of laughter. Jaune, head still on the table, didn’t even try to defend himself. “Oh ha-ha. Very funny!” At this, Pyrrha stood up and motioned her team to follow. “Well, we must be going to the arena!”

A loudspeaker rung to life and Professor Port announced for team JNPR to report for their match. “Well, it looks like this is it.” Pyrrha said, with newfound determination. “Go get ’em!” “Good luck!” Ruby and Yang yelled. “Break a leg!” Church yelled towards team JNPR as they walked toward the arena.


	7. The Vytal Festival P2

Emerald and Mercury of team Bad Guys had just walked away from an informational meeting with team RWBY. “So how are the new friends?” Mercury asked Emerald, adding air quotes around ‘friends’. Emerald turned to Mercury with a glare that could kill. “I never want to talk to them again.”

Mercury shrugged. “Orders say otherwise,” He said in a sing-song voice. Emerald started to vent. “I just,” She let out an aggressive sigh of frustration. “How can they be so happy all the time?” She asked, moving clenched fists up and down to emphasize her emotions.

“Did you at least get what we wanted from them?” Mercury asked. Emerald sighed. “It’s snowflake and cleavage,” Mercury raised a hand to his chin to stroke his metaphorical beard. “Moving on. How about that blue… thing that Neo mentioned?”

Emerald shot him a second glare. “I don’t know how you didn’t see it! It was clearly visible in the arena.” Mercury shrugged his shoulders again. “I don’t know, I guess I was paying attention to something else.” He said, his tone implying that he meant something else.

* * *

 

“Who’s ready to watch team JNPR!” Ruby almost-yelled over the arena crowd to her teammates. Ruby was greeted by variations of “Yeah!” as the team walked down the tunnel towards their seats.

As they turned the corner, Yang looked over her shoulder on a gut feeling and noticed Emerald and Mercury walking in the opposite direction. _Huh, do you think they’re following us?_ Church asked Yang, to which she replied, 'It _is_ a big stadium. Maybe it’s just a coincidence?' Church decided to task Delta with keeping track of where they are. Just in case they try anything.

The match was interesting to say the least. There was a point in the match where Jaune stopped the entire match to argue over team attack names with his team. Jaune even got a little sassy when a member of the opposing team tried to get Jaune back into the match. It all met an anticlimactic end with Nora knocking all of the remaining opponents out in one fell swoop with her hammer.

Church appeared to share his thoughts between matches. “So, who else thought that match was ridiculous?” The rest of the team agreed. “I don’t know how he managed to have a meeting with his team mid-battle.” Weiss said, and everyone nodded in agreement.

“I think the match could have gone without an argument over attack names,” Blake thought out loud.

“I want a picture of the moment Jaune realized that he was in a match.” Yang said, laughing.

“I wish I had that same kind of power,” Ruby said, adding her own opinion. “The power to seemingly stop time just to have a chat with my team.”

“Meh,” Church said, responding to Ruby’s thought. “That power wouldn’t be very helpful. Especially with a team like mine.” Church realized his mistake too late and tried to save face.

“Oh!” He panicked. Team RWBY looking several levels above offended. “Oh, no no no! I meant my old team. Tucker and Caboose, and those guys.” RWBY removed the insulted looks from their face, but they would not forget this act of war.

“Speaking of them,” Church said, turning to look off into the distance. Reminiscing on times long past, “Back in Blood Gulch, we solved our problems with a lot of yelling and threatening the other side. It worked more often than we’d like to believe. You’d be surprised at what we accomplished with the bullsh-” Church suddenly felt the weight of three murderous glares pointed at him. “I mean, the lies and falsities that we threw at Red team over the years.”

The glares dissipated, and Ruby put a twist on his own logic “And you wouldn’t believe what we’ve accomplished when our weapons to the talking.” Church took a second to think about this. “Yeah, I guess you’re right about that,” he said.

* * *

“Mercury _Thermometer_ Black. Are you trying to get on my nerves?” An agitated Emerald asked her partner in crime.

Mercury cringed at the nickname Emerald had recently started calling him. “Okay, first off: please, for the love of all that is dust, please stop using that nickname." Emerald just grinned back, relishing in Mercury's hatred of the nickname.

"Secondly: you’re mad at me for watching the matches and observing our enemies’ fighting styles?” Mercury asked, in a manner similar to a guilty child getting scolded by his parents. “That’s not what we’re supposed to be doing and you know it,” She said, trying to keep the bitterness out of her voice. “We’re supposed to be watching team RWBY and try to get proof of that blue... thing. And although Cinder may like me more than you, just myself trying to say that it exists will not prove anything. So please, focus on them instead of the match.” Emerald pleaded, but she knew it wouldn’t do anything.

Mercury imitated a soldier’s salute and added in a “Yes, ma’am!” for effect.

* * *

The next match was team SSSN versus team NDGO. It was another match filled with twists and turns, but ended with a victory for team SSSN. Similar to JNPR’s match, SSSN vs NDGO had an anticlimactic end with Neptune zapping all of the remaining opponents in the beach portion of the arena. Yang was the first to stand up after the match had ended. Blake followed her, but Weiss and Ruby got left behind in the crowd looking at some airship.

Yang and Blake found Sun and Neptune in the fairgrounds chowing down on some victory lunch. “Good job, guys! Awesome match!” Yang congratulated Sun and Neptune.

“Hey! Thanks!” Sun replied. “For about a minute I thought we weren’t gonna win, because _someone_ had an empty section in ‘Lockdown Mode’ and wouldn’t actually help.” Sun said, glaring at Neptune.

“I won us the round didn’t I?” Neptune retorted. Sun let out a heavy sigh, “Whatever helps you sleep at night man. Hey, Blake? Where’s Red and White?” Yang and Blake looked around, just now noticing that they lost Ruby and Weiss.

“I guess they found something more important to do.” Blake guessed.

 _Like each other,_ Church laughed to himself and Yang. 'Oh, I am _so_ telling them you said that,' She snickered back, and Church instantly regretted saying anything.

“I’m sure we’ll find them sooner or later,” Yang said, adding to Blake’s comment. “Anyway, have you decided on who you’re gonna send to the doubles round?”

Neptune looked over to Sun. “Not yet, we’ll probably get to that tomorrow. Who’re you sending?” Sun asked. “It’s me and Weiss.” Yang said, pointing towards herself.

“That’s awesome! Good luck you guys! We’re gonna go back with our team and chill.” Sun and Neptune stood up and started off towards the dorms. “See you later!” Blake called after them, her and Yang waving.

Yang turned toward her partner. “You know what?” She said. “I bet they just went to the dorms after we lost them.” Blake nodded. “Yeah, good idea. Let’s go.” They both stood up and made their way over to their room.

As Blake and Yang got closer to their room, the sounds of _Alley Brawler_ became more and more clear to their ears. “I didn’t peg Weiss for fighting games,” Yang said, pausing outside of their door.

“Yeah. I always thought she would have prefered those dust farming simulators more than anything.” Yang laughed. “That’s funny! Because her family is exactly that!”

They both composed themselves and finally got around to opening the door. “Weiss! Ruby! You’ve got to hear what Chur-” Yang was stopped at the sight of someone she hasn’t seen in a long time. “Uncle Qrow? What’re you doing here!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to yell at me at tumblr.com/blog/78thuniverse to hurry up and write faster. Because I would like to know that people are genuinely interested in this


	8. Chapter 8

“Hey Firecracker,” Said Qrow, in his usual ‘I can’t tell if he’s drunk or not’ tone of voice. “How’s it going?” He asked. “Great! Hey, is Weiss in here?” Yang asked.

“No,” Ruby said. “Apparently her sister is here and they’re catching up.” Yang took this as an excellent opportunity to change subjects.

“Speaking of catching up. What’re you doing around these parts, Uncle Qrow?” At this point Blake recognized that this was a family gathering of sorts and snuck her way out of the room, muttering something about the library, or finding Weiss. Church didn’t really care.

“Your dear professor asked me to pass by. Don’t know the purpose, though.” He answered. For the entire conversation, Qrow had been playing against Ruby in _Alley Brawler_. And to no one’s surprise he had just won.

“Dang it! Stop being good at this game!” Ruby cried out as her character was defeated. She was pushed out of the way by Yang, determined to beat Qrow in the game.

“So where was I?” Qrow asked, half focusing on the game. “You were telling me about your last mission,” Ruby replied, watching the match intently. To no one’s surprise, Qrow already had a decent advantage over Yang.

“Right, my last mission…” Qrow began. “I stumbled across a village to the west of Mistral. Almost immediately, I knew something smelled fishy.” Qrow’s analogy was lost on the two girls. “It didn’t happen to be fish, right?” Yang asked.

Qrow took the advantage and hit a good combo on Yang’s character. His advantage growing, and so did Yang’s frustration.

“Although there were fish in that swampy village, I wasn’t looking for a meal.” Yang got through Qrow’s defense while he was distracted with the story and took as many pot shots on his fighter as she could. She could only get a few on him before he regained control of the fight. Yang’s health bar was in the yellow, nearing red, and Qrow continued, “I needed information. I decided to start at the town’s inn, because I was dead tired from all the Grimm on the way. The place was infested with thugs and ne'er do wells, even a huntsman or two that I’m sure were hired by less than respectable people to do less than respectable things. And then that’s when it happened.”

Qrow left a dramatic pause to create suspense. “What happened?” Yang asked, taking most of her concentration off of the game.

“I was defeated…” Qrow said. “By the mere sight…”

Both girls leaned in closer, waiting to hear the climax of the story.

 _I bet it’s gonna end with some bad joke,_ Church said, and was quickly ignored.

Qrow’s character made the final move and defeated Yang’s while he said “Of the inn-keeper’s skirt length!” The TV declared Qrow the winner, and Yang threw a nearby pillow at her uncle. “You are the worst!” She exclaimed.

Church cackled in the background saying, _That’s the best William Shatner impression I’ve heard in years!_

Qrow started a new game with Yang and Ruby moved herself to a bed and sat down. “So, Uncle Qrow, do you think you’re in trouble with Ozpin?” She asked.

“No way. Me and Oz are old pals. We’re cool.” Yang scoffs. “Yeah. Cool for an old guy.” She hits a good combo on Qrow. Qrow quickly became serious. “Hey, not funny.” He hits a better combo on Yang, taking the advantage.

Ruby, diffusing the situation, moved on. “So what’re you doing here anyway? Dad said you’d be away for, like, forever.” Ruby asked.

”Well, good huntsmen, such as myself, are expected to get results much faster than the average huntsman.” Qrow said, using this little chance to bump up his self esteem.

“Yeah, I can understand that. We’re basically pros, ourselves.” Ruby said, trying to compliment her team. Yang got another small combo on her uncle.

 _What?_ Church said to himself and Yang _You went on like two missions. One of them wasn’t even official! How does that make you pros?_

Yang mentally blocked out Church and his commentary, and sacrificed a hit to do it.

"Oh, yeah?” Qrow humored Ruby. “Pfft, yeah!” Ruby replied and Yang continued. “Read the news sometime! We totally saved Vale while you were away.” Yang said. Her pride beaming.

 _Some people don’t see it like that,_ Church said, even though he knew he was being ignored.

“That’s funny. Because I heard that Vale was almost lost to a Grimm attack after you _almost_ stopped a runaway train.” The TV declared Qrow the winner again, and Yang’s pride quickly deflated. “Sadly, they don’t give out medals for, _almost_.” Qrow teased.

“They do! And they’re called silver!” Ruby shot back.

“Well we helped defeat Roman Torchwick!” Yang challenged. “He’s locked up tight in Ironwood’s ship and crime has been way down since then! That’s basically a bounty mission.” Tension hung in the air as Qrow planned his next argument.

“Sure, you might be acting like huntresses. But you’re not thinking like one.” Qrow took a hand from his controller and tapped his temples, emphasizing his point.

Yang tried to take some shots at him but the hand still on the controller was using the movement buttons. “Do you really think four girls and their friends can end all of the Kingdom’s crime?” The tension was got tighter. “Crime hasn’t dropped since Torchwick got canned. It stopped, completely.”

Yang and Ruby looked at each other, and then back at their uncle.

“No White Fang activity at all anywhere in or around the city. You cut the head off of a Beowolf. Now another one crawled out of that black goo and is calling the shots now. That’s what Ironwood can’t get through that thick head of his.”

Another glance was shared between Ruby and Yang. “You know the general?” Ruby asked.

“I know everybody to some extent. Remember who you’re talking to. I was a member of the coolest team to graduate from Beacon!” Qrow pulled a photo out from his pocket. Ruby and Yang took a long look, as if this was the only time that they’d be able to see this picture.

 _Why are you looking at this like it’s you’re long-lost mother, or something?_ Church butted into Yang’s thoughts. 'Well, that actually is my long-lost mother.'

Church let out an _Oh,_ of understanding. _That was going---_ Church started, but something cut him out. As Qrow continued to gloat, Yang fruitlessly tried to get Church back.

“But,” Qrow said, startling Yang out of her rescue operation. “I’ll save those for when you’re older.” He stood up, with a cringing Ruby in the background. “Anyway, I’m too old to be caught hanging around with a bunch of kids,” He turned and headed for the door. “People might get suspicious.”

He was halfway out the door when he turned back around. “Oh, I almost forgot to ask,” Both girls turned to look at him. “Has Oz talked to your team about some kind of test yet?” Ruby and Yang looked at one another. “He made an offhand remark once about some experiment he wanted to do.”

“No,” Ruby answered. “He hasn’t talked to us about anything.”

Qrow grunted. “Knowing him it's probably some type of experimental dust. Your team has a variety of weapons so I guess he can get all his testing done in fewer runs. Welp, I’ll be seeing you girls around.” Yang and Ruby waved to the exiting Qrow. The girls let that idea, the experiment, simmer.

Oz was a secluded guy, but an experiment with his students? Both girls were brought from their thoughts when Church emerged between them, searching for air as if he had just surfaced after coming close to drowning.

“ _*gasping and_ _coughing*_  Wait, why am I coughing? I don’t have lungs.” Yang had a moment of realization. "Oh, that was just his semblance!" Ruby looked at her sister. "What are you talking about?" Church replied for Yang. "I was talking with Yang about the picture and suddenly I just wasn't there."

"Yeah, that would be his semblance alright." Yang chuckled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think of the story so far with a comment below this!


	9. Yet Another Chapter During the Vytal Festival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was a little rushed this chapter so please excuse some grammatical errors.

Weiss and Yang were loitering in the green room, waiting to go into the arena for their doubles match. It was previously agreed that Church would watch and evaluate his team, like he did for the four-on-four match. “Don’t you remember Mountain Glenn?” He asked Yang. While Church understood the purpose of analyzing, he didn’t find it very fun. That’s why he always made Delta do it. Weiss looked up from her scroll. “That’s completely different,” She interrupted. “On Mountain Glenn, we were fighting criminals who sought to destroy our way of life. Here in the tournament, though, we’re fighting to see who’s better based off of what we learned in school. We needed a wildcard to win against the White Fang. What we need to win in a tournament fight is our own skill and technique.” Church couldn’t speak for a second. “Oh, I never thought of it like that. I guess you’re right.” Weiss went back onto her scroll. “I know,” she said. “Anyway,” Church turned back to Yang. “I’ll send off some schematics to Ruby and I’ll split.” Yang looked puzzled. “Schematics for what?” She chuckled out the question. All Church said was “It’s a secret, don’t worry about it.” And then he disappeared into Beacon’s network.

In the time between the mission at Mountain Glenn and the start of the Vytal festival, Church added himself into his teams’ scrolls. He did this as a way to communicate with everyone on the off chance he couldn’t talk to them directly. In Ruby’s case, all she got was a message from Church with some strange schematics and a short line of text, “This is a secret. Don’t tell anyone about this.” Blake managed to grab a quick peek at Ruby’s scroll and asked what she was looking at. “Something Church just sent me,” Ruby answered. “It looks like some kind of high-tech gadget. I’ll give it a closer look tonight.” With that, Ruby and Blake focused their attention on the fight as Yang and Weiss walked out onto the arena.

Team RWBY was once again in the fairgrounds grabbing a bite to eat after a win in the tournament. “So before I begin, congrats.” Church appeared as the team sat down at a stall. “Thank you, Church. It was a well earned victory.” Weiss thanked the AI.”Yeah, especially after you dove into a lava vent.” Everyone except Weiss chuckled. “In my defense,” Weiss glared lasers at Church, “I thought it would drain his aura farther. Apparently it didn’t.” Yang tried to change the subject before any hostility erupted. “So… Evaluate our match, AI man.” Church took a second to gather his thoughts. “Well, I have a comment for both of you. You can’t let battlefield banter get in the way of your focus. Yang, just because crazy skater girl said, ‘blah-blah-blah you’re top heavy!’ That shouldn’t stop you from giving her a shotgun blast to the face.” Yang flushed a bright red but nodded in understanding. “And Weiss. Just because trumpet boy’s father’s shop got closed down, ignore it, and poke him with your pointy sword until he goes down. You don’t know what he said is true, it could totally be a bold faced lie.” Weiss acknowledged the criticism with a similar nod and went back to eating. Her aura must have been totally depleted.

The rest of the meal was finished with Yang and Weiss discussing the goods and bads their battle. Oobleck came on the fairgrounds’ loudspeaker and announced that those chosen to fight in the singles should report to the arena in fifteen minutes. Everyone got up and headed for the arena. “Who  _ are _ you gonna send?” Ruby asked to Yang and Weiss. They both looked at each other, wanting the other to volunteer. A large amount of silence passed before Church spoke up. “If neither of you want to do it, just play a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors for it. The loser will have to fight in the singles round.” The team stopped and looked at him. “A game of  _ what _ ?” Blake asked. “Rock. Paper. Scissors. What do you mean,  _ What game? _ ” Church looked between the faces of confusion. “I don’t think that that’s a thing here, man.” Yang said. “It’s a very simple concept. Paper beats Rock. Rock beats Scissors, and Scissors beats Paper.” Church made the hand gestures along with his explanation. “But then no one can ultimately win,” Weiss noted. “That's the idea,” Church replied. “There’s always a way to win, and a way to lose. Unless you want to play Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock, but that’s an advanced form of the game.”

After some more explaining and trial games to understand the concept, Yang and Weiss finally dueled each other. “Okay, We all know the rules. No cheating is allowed. The loser of today’s battle will have to fight in the singles matches. Are the combatants ready?” Church announced. Both Yang and Weiss assumed a fighting stance. “Yeah, Go Yang! Beat her butt!” Ruby cheered on her sister. Blake waved a small flag with Weiss’s name printed on it to support her. “Rock,” Weiss and Yang entered their battle mode. “Paper,” With their choice picked, they both thought that they had outsmarted the other. “Scissors,” The tension around them could have been cut with a knife, or right now, scissors. “Shoot!” All of the tension peaked, and suddenly dissolved into a fine dust when both Yang and Weiss threw Scissors. Weiss was about to fight Yang but Church intervened before it could go any further. “Before someone gets hurt, how about another match?” Yang and Weiss returned to their stances and prepared for another match. This time, Weiss won by throwing Paper to Yang’s Rock. “Ha!” Weiss gloated. “I guess you’ll have to fight in the singles round.” Yang, in her defeat, tried to taunt her. “Yeah, and you’ll see how I can beat you in an actual match!” Yang put her fists on her hips and started walking towards the stadium. “Congratulations. I don’t have a trophy, buy you get the satisfaction of winning.” Church said before floating after Yang. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small update about the near future for this fic: There probably won't be an update during the months July and August. In July I won't be able to access any electronics because I'll be in Wisconsin doing some fun stuff, and August is the beginning of school so there may or may not be an upload, who knows.


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